Video Reflection

I was watching a youtube video, today, of Russell Brand interviewing Gabor Mate. It is titled Damaged Leaders Rule The World. It focuses on addiction.

It’s really made me stop and do some reflecting. Some serious soul searching.

Questions I’ve asked myself…
What types on things in my life am I addicted to?
In what ways is this addiction fed?
When this addiction stops being fed, how do I respond?

I luckily don’t have any addictions in the form of drugs and alcohol, anymore. A lot of my addictions come in the form of pleasing my ego. I want to be well liked. I want to be seen as a good person. I want to be understood. I want to be seen as a good worker, good mother, etc. So in turn, I am addicted to pleasing my ego, and what it tells me that I am or am not.

So what happens when something goes against one of the above statements that I believe about myself to be true? I get upset, sad, mad, point blame. I let these feelings take over and let them become who I am for that moment. They consume me. I am however, not those feelings that I feel. They are simply feelings, and they can come and go just as a passing car. I choose weather I hold onto them and let them consume my being.

So my addiction of wanting to be well liked, understood, good person, etc. Is fed by having those exact things happen to me in my life. So when something happens that goes against what my ego says I am, an almost panic feeling tends to occur within myself. My ego feels threatened. I allow worry to take over, sadness, anxiety. But why? Why do I choose to listen to my ego? My ego is not who I am. It’s simply a voice from inside of me. My soul is who I am. The soul has no voice, it is merely a feeling. I would truly love for my ego to die and only live through my soul, total enlightenment.

So I need to ask myself, why does this addiction need fed? And how can I break this cycle, as to not continue to pass it down in my family?

Those are the things I am working on daily. Through meditation, prayer, watching videos that support this kind of thinking, reading books that also support it. I’d like to figure out the why. To get to the core of any issues I’ve developed since I was a child and to fully heal from them. So I can truly be free.

I obviously have other areas of myself that I need to explore, get to the core and heal from. But after watching this video this is what was brought to my attention. It feels so great to self reflect and work towards healing, growing and freeing myself.

I urge you to do the same. If you have any addictions in your life, whatever they may be, step back and ask yourself why.

This video is truly amazing! I highly recommend taking the time to watch it. Russell Brand is doing some amazing work in the spiritual world.

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