Body image, something I’ve worried about most of my life.
Up until just recently I have always been incredibly strict on myself with working out and eating the right foods. My fitness journey started around 7 years ago. I was heavier than I had ever been and wanted to change it. I met my friend Amy, who was already a gym goer and knew about proper nutrition, so I started lifting here and there with her. I eventually joined the gym that she went to and we started working out together. She taught me all the basics and got me comfortable going to a gym, which I’m still great-full for to this day because lifting/exercise has become one of my favorite hobbies. (thanks Amy!)
Overall from my heaviest, to the lightest I have ever been as an adult I lost 30 pounds. I was a whopping 115 pounds at my lightest as a 27 year old and I still thought I needed to lose more fat. I was avid about gaining muscle and losing fat. I was strong-ish and had muscle but because I didn’t have abs I wasn’t happy. I tend to store fat in my mid section so even though I weighed so little I still didn’t have much definition in my abs. I eventually started researching more about proper nutrition because I was lacking there. I finally started filling out, gaining muscle and also keeping the fat off. I think at the peak of my journey I was around 125 lbs and 15% body fat. I looked pretty damn good. I had my workouts down to a T and knew exactly what I needed to eat and how much cardio to do to maintain. I think I was around the age of 28/29 then. That brings us to today. I’m 32 sitting around 136 pounds, last I checked my body fat was 24% but that was months ago. I also haven’t weighed myself in awhile so that may not be accurate either. I still workout 3 to 4 times a week and I eat more of a balanced diet, meaning I eat candy and snacks and don’t beat myself up for it anymore. Mentally I’m in a much healthier place than I was back then when it came to fitness and nutrition. I wasn’t competing but I treated myself like I was, weighing my food, counting my macros, all that good stuff. Which yes that did help me hit my goals and I loved being that fit but I was letting it consume me in unhealthy ways. Physically I’m not in the best shape I’ve ever been but I’m also still active and healthy. Would I love to be back to my 125 pound, 15% body fat physique, of course, but I’m also pretty happy with myself right now. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a mental struggle some days when I think about how I used to look to how I look now. The thing is though even back then I was still beating myself up over how I looked because it wasn’t good enough in my eyes. So If I couldn’t be happy being super fit would I ever be happy with how I looked? Body image/comparing yourself to others is a bitch if you let it get to you. Do I worry that I won’t be the fittest, hottest chick at the pool this summer, of course! I also know that I’m beautiful and look damn good so that won’t matter. Confidence is key! Being comfortable in my own skin is what matters. Yes I still have body image issues and feel insecure at times but I can honestly say this is also the most comfortable I’ve ever felt in my own skin. I’m owning who I am for once and loving it. With summer right around the corner and bikini season being here this has been on my mind a little more than normal. I just have to keep reminding myself that I’m perfect just the way I am.
Love yo self 🙂
Trisha,
I admired the person you are, and you ARE perfect the way you are. With diet and nutrition I feel the same way. We will never be good enough for ourselves, especially if we compare ourselves to other women whom we deem are the perfect image. One thing that I have been practicing lately is learning how to run MY own race. This is me, I am who I am, I don’t have to live like others to achieve happiness, this is my life, and no one else will run my race for me. It is fun to learn about health and fitness, and to achieve new heights on our fitness journey. But I found that it is important to stay true to yourself, and not to try to be like others. Our bodies are unique, and our mentality/personality are what gives our bodies character. One thing we need to remember is to love ourselves wholeheartedly, and to never get too consumed in any one thing to let life and all its wonders/beauties pass us by. You are truly inspirational, and anyone is blessed to have a person like you in their lives.
Thank you so much! 🙂 very inspiring words.