Up’s and Down’s

Little mental health update…

Lately I’ve been feeling very up and down. This is very unlike me to feel this way. Some days I’m happy and life couldn’t get any better. Other days I’m sad about something and for no real reason either. The sad days feel very extreme. Like a deep down low sadness that you can’t shake. I fixate on something and it makes it even worse because then I’m reciting something over and over in my mind until it drives me crazy. I’ve never felt that way before. I wonder if it’s from coming off Zoloft? Being on Zoloft I never felt extreme sadness. I’d have bad days sure but never to the point of sadness I’m feeling now. Thinking back before Zoloft I don’t recall feeling that low of a sadness either. So why now?

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Purpose

Lately I’ve been thinking of my purpose. What am I here to do? As many of us wonder from time to time. Obviously that can be ever changing and take many forms. Overall I know I’m meant to help. I’m a helper. Not so much a physical work kind of helper (but I’ll help you … Read more

alone inside

I come here sometimes.  It makes me feel even more alone than I already feel inside.  I get comfort in feeling alone sometimes.  I let darkness come over me and it feels good.  Wrapped up in a blanket of sorrow I walk.  I walk and walk until I tell myself to snap out of it. … Read more

Relief

This post is kind of all over the place to bear with me…

Sitting here feeling stuck on what to blog about. Then I got to thinking how relieved I have felt this last week. My divorce has been final now for a couple weeks and I think since then I’ve really allowed myself to process my feelings of everything that has happened. In a way I think I was closed off from letting myself really feel everything I needed to. To allow myself to fully let go of everything, all the feelings, the people I lost, the life I lost, all of it.

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