Listening to my current favorite podcast today. Highest Self Podcast with Sahara Rose. She was talking about how we are addicted to suffering.
It got me thinking. Do I do that? Sometimes it’s hard to ask yourself questions like that. Do I feel like if I’m not suffering, I’m not living life or making progress? And the answer was Yes! A lot of times if life is going really easy, almost too easy, I question it. What am I doing wrong? Why is life smooth sailing at the moment? Why am I not suffering? Then I go back and think of any obstacles I’ve overcome recently. And some of them may have been difficult or hard, but what was important was how I chose to view them, and react to them. That’s what made a world of difference. So life isn’t always necessarily “easy” but I choose to view things differently. Because after all, there is no good or bad, there is just experience. We choose whether we view it as good or bad. That’s how it gets put under one of those categories.
So in my current season in life I am a stay at home mom. For awhile now I have struggled to really find my happy place being home all day with my daughter. I’ve tossed around getting a part time job. But nothing really appealed to me. And I do love being able to spend all this time with my daughter, but I knew I needed more. I was depressed and basically scrapping to get by everyday. Trying my hardest to see the good in each day. I allowed myself to hold onto that for SO LONG. I was addicted to the suffering. I was depressed but just didn’t have it in me to make any drastic changes at the time. I just stayed that way and was hoping things would change on their own. However, I needed to be the one to make the changes!
Then FINALLY I had a switch turn on inside of me. I started meditating, the new moon happened, I meditated some more and literally in a few days something changed. I had a new fire inside of me that I didn’t have before. I was ready! (I know I blogged about this already, so just bear with me.) I was ready to stop suffering and start putting effort into things that made my soul happy. I missed writing and putting things out there for others to read. I love helping people and I wasn’t allowing myself to do that. I kept telling myself it didn’t matter, and I couldn’t do it. I was a stay at home mom and I’d never amount to anything, let alone do things that my heart desires. Or anything that takes any of my attention away from my daughter, because mom guilt. But I finally said screw it, and started fighting and working towards my souls desires. And it feels AMAZING.
I don’t want to be addicted to suffering. I don’t want to think that if I’m not suffering one way or another then I’m not living life how it’s meant to be lived. I’m allowed to have a job that I love and doesn’t stress me out. I’m allowed to not be stressed 24/7. I’m allowed to see the beauty in my day. I’m allowed to not react to “bad” things. I don’t have to hold onto negativity that brings me down. Does it mean I don’t care? Of course not. I just don’t think life should be that painful. Why should I worry constantly about things I can’t control? The only time we have is the present. The past is done and the future is yet to happen. So why worry about either? We have no idea what will happen anyway.
I still struggle with these things but it’s something I try to practice daily.
I hope this helps anyone view life a little differently. Sure, life will always have hard times but we can choose to view those hard times with a positive twist. Back when I worked at a distribution center (for 9 years) I remember an employee said to me, “you’re so positive, that will change.” Well guess what? I never did change! I’m still here 🙂 I’m still me. I didn’t let my job or surrounding bring me down. Sure it sucked sometimes but I tried my best to make the best out of it. And I do the same thing with my daily life.
I hope you enjoyed! I have a lot on my heart recently so this one is a little long.
Thanks for reading.